Monday, May 04, 2009


After my weekend realisation that I am a coffee addict again I have decided to give it up entirely. (This is a photo of decaf Earl Grey tea alongside a smoothie.)

I've been feeing increasingly off-kilter emotionally, and actually a few times have felt white hot flashes of rage towards acquaintances and strangers, and towards myself.

I had a particularly upsetting day yesterday where I couldn't find any grounding in anything. All my existential angst appeared and shook me up.

I didn't want to admit that the trajectories of the caffeine intake and the emotional imbalance corresponded. While I'm drinking strong, fresh coffee I feel so positive and so happy, and that anything is possible. I feel invincible. But the cumulative effect of the caffeine, once the buzz has passed, has been very obvious: edginess, nerviness, rage, emotional overreaction and an emotional compass that swings wildly in all directions. Not good.

I will probably book a couple of sessions of acupuncture to reset myself.

So, back to decaf. And emotional balance and grounding.

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